Why Crying Together Heals Better: The Emotional Power of Shared Tears

The Benefit of Crying with Someone Instead of Crying Alone

Let me paint you a picture. It’s 11 PM, and you’re curled up on the couch in your comfiest (read: rattiest) hoodie, clutching a tub of ice cream like it’s the last thing tethering you to reality. Your favorite sad playlist is on shuffle because, let’s be real, if you’re going to cry, you might as well lean all the way in. But something feels… incomplete. Sure, the tears are flowing, and the sadness is doing its thing, but deep down, it feels like you’re missing something—or someone.

Crying alone might be cathartic, but crying with someone? That’s a whole other level of healing. It’s messy, it’s raw, and yeah, it’s not always pretty, but boy, does it work wonders for your soul.

Crying Alone: The Solo Sob Fest

Let’s start with the solo cry, which has its own charm, don’t get me wrong. It’s private, it’s controlled (ish), and no one’s there to see your “ugly cry” face. Sometimes, you just need that solitary space to let it all out.

But here’s the thing: crying alone can sometimes feel like yelling into a void. You’re releasing your emotions, sure, but the echo of your sadness can bounce back louder than before. There’s no one to remind you, “Hey, you’re going to get through this,” or to just sit there and share the weight of your feelings. Instead, you’re left in your own head, which, if you’re anything like me, can be more overwhelming than the crying itself.

Crying with Someone: The Shared Sob Symphony

Now, imagine this: you’re mid-breakdown, snot and tears everywhere, and someone you trust sits down next to you. They don’t try to fix you or throw out clichés like “Everything happens for a reason” (ugh). They just sit there, maybe hand you a tissue, and say, “Let it out. I’m here.”

That moment? That’s magic. Crying with someone transforms your sadness from a solitary burden into a shared experience. It’s like dividing the weight of your emotions in half—suddenly, it feels just a little lighter.

Why Crying with Someone Hits Different

1. Validation
   When someone witnesses your tears, it’s like they’re saying, “Your feelings matter.” It’s easy to feel invisible or silly when you’re crying alone, but having someone there reminds you that it’s okay to not be okay.
2. Connection
   Vulnerability is a superpower. When you open up and cry with someone, it creates a bond that words often can’t. It’s like your souls are high-fiving in the middle of an emotional storm.
3. Comfort
   Sometimes, you don’t need advice or solutions—you just need a hug, a hand to hold, or someone to sit silently beside you. That kind of comfort can be more healing than any pep talk ever could.
4. Perspective
   A good crying buddy knows how to balance empathy with perspective. They’ll cry with you, sure, but they might also crack a joke or remind you of that time you tripped in front of your crush—anything to pull you out of the emotional abyss for a moment.

Personal Experience: The Power of a Shared Cry

’ll never forget the time my best friend and I cried together on the kitchen floor. I’d just gone through a brutal breakup, and she had her own stresses piling up. What started as me venting turned into both of us sobbing over everything from heartbreak to how unfair it is that avocados go bad so quickly.

By the end of it, we were laughing through our tears, wiping our faces with paper towels because we were out of tissues (of course). It was messy, but it was exactly what I needed. Knowing I wasn’t alone in my sadness made all the difference.

Tips for Crying with Someone

1. Choose Your Person Wisely
   Not everyone knows how to hold space for your emotions, and that’s okay. Pick someone you trust, someone who won’t judge you or rush you to “get over it.”
2. Set the Tone
   It’s okay to tell your person what you need. “I just need to vent,” or “Can you just sit with me for a bit?” lets them know how to show up for you.
3. Be Open to the Mess
   Crying with someone can be awkward or uncomfortable at first. Embrace the messiness—it’s part of the process.

The Science of Shared Tears

Here’s a fun fact: crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, aka the “feel-good” chemicals. When you cry with someone, those benefits are amplified because of the human connection. It’s like emotional alchemy—you turn sadness into healing through shared vulnerability.

Final Thoughts: Together is Better

Don’t get me wrong—there’s a time and place for a solo cry. But when you’re really in the trenches of your emotions, reaching out to someone can be the ultimate act of self-care.

Don’t get me wrong—there’s a time and place for a solo cry. But when you’re really in the trenches of your emotions, reaching out to someone can be the ultimate act of self-care. Because at the end of the day, crying isn’t about fixing anything. It’s about feeling, releasing, and connecting. And doing that with someone by your side? It’s a reminder that no matter how heavy life gets, you’re never truly alone.

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Marissa Buencamino

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