One morning a well-known thief with a splint on his leg hobbled into a courtroom and approached the bench. Your honor, I have a complaint. Yesterday I was walking down the street minding my ow business, when I noticed a house with a window that was clearly unlocked. Now, who could pass by an invitation like that? Of course I had to investigate. I climbed over the fence, made my way through the yard, and opened the window. But I was only halfway inside when the sill gave way. I tumbled to the ground and, as you can plainly see, broke my leg. Now I demand justice.
The judge nodded…and ordered the owner of the house to be summoned at once.
Now, see here,” he barked when the owner arrived. “Your window broke this man’s leg as he tried to enter your house. Just what makes you think you can expose the public to a dangerous, faulty window?
Well, the poor homeowner had never stood before a judge in his life…frightened out of his wits…searched his brain for an answer.
Your honor, he pleaded, it’s not my fault. I paid the carpenter good money to build my window. He should have built it so it wouldn’t fall apart.
You’re right! Bring me the carpenter, the judge thundered. The bailiff rounded up the carpenter. How dare you build a window that would break a man’s leg! What’s wrong with you?, the judge thundered.
The carpenter trembled and shifted from foot to foot. “Your Honor…perhaps I did not build the window quite as well as I should. But it wasn’t my fault. The truth is, I was feeling ill the day I nailed it together. I had eaten a pie from a baker’s shop and it upset my stomach.”
The judge slammed down his fist and ordered the summoning of the baker. “I hear you’re baking bad pies….The carpenter says you sold him a bad pie which made him sick, which made his window bad, which broke this man’s leg.”
The baker shook his head and said “I remember the day I sold him the pie. It’s true Your Honor that perhaps the pie was only half bake….But that’s because when I was making it, a beautiful woman came to my shop to buy pastries. And YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE DRESS SHE HAD ON! I’ve never seen such a dress–they shouldn’t be allowed to wear them like that in public. So, of course, Your Honor, I may not have paid quite attention to my pies.
“We’ll see about this” shouted the judge. “Find the woman!” The woman was located and was told how she has broken a man’s leg. “But, Your Honor…as the baker himself admitted, the dress caught his eye, not me. The dressmaker is the one to blame.
” Arrest the dressmaker!” The dressmaker was hauled before the bench. “What do you mean by corrupting the public this way?”….Your dress has made this woman turn this baker’s head, which made his pie bad, which made the carpenter ill, which made his window frame bad, which broke this poor man’s leg. What do you have to say for yourself?” But the dressmaker was not a speechmaker. He stammered and stuttered, and could think of nothing at all to say. The judge ordered him hanged.
The bailiff looked the condemned man up and down. ‘He’s a big one, Your Honor,
I’m afraid he’s too tall for our gallows. His feet will just land on the ground.’ “So find a shorter dressmaker, and hang him instead,” the judge stormed. “Someone must pay, after all.”
From 1001 Classic Short Stories and Tales