Ah, heartbreak—the emotional equivalent of stepping on a LEGO in the dark but, like, for your soul. I’ve been there. It’s a club no one really wants to join, yet here we are. The good news is that there are things you can do to mend your heart and start moving forward. Here’s my take on what helped me (and others) after heartbreak.
- Feel the Feels (But Don’t Unpack and Live There)
First, let’s address the elephant in the room: it hurts. Like, physically hurts. Your heart is doing somersaults and not in the cute, “butterflies in your stomach” way. Don’t bottle it up—let yourself cry, vent to your friends, write a dramatic journal entry like you’re in a teen drama. It’s cathartic and necessary. But, and here’s the key: set a time limit on your wallowing. Maybe it’s a week, maybe two. After that, start focusing on recovery, not replaying the breakup.
- Channel the Energy Elsewhere
The energy you were pouring into the relationship doesn’t just disappear—it’s floating around, waiting for you to put it to good use. Pick something you’ve always wanted to try, whether it’s:
Joining a gym or yoga class
Learning to play the ukulele
Taking up painting, cooking, or even pottery (hello, “Ghost” moment?)
I personally signed up for kickboxing after a breakup—it was amazing how much punching a bag felt like closure.
- Declutter Your Life (and Digital Space)
Heartbreak loves to linger in reminders. So, do yourself a favor and Marie Kondo the things that don’t spark joy anymore. That includes:
Deleting their number and unfollowing them on social media (because no, checking their Instagram stories at 2 a.m. isn’t “just seeing how they’re doing”).
Putting gifts or photos in a box and stuffing it in a closet (or the trash, if you’re feeling dramatic).
Muting shared group chats, if needed.
This isn’t about being petty—it’s about protecting your peace.
- Find a “You” Routine
When you’re in a relationship, your routines often blend together, right? Now it’s time to rediscover your rhythm. Reclaim your mornings, evenings, weekends—whatever time feels empty now. Personally, I made Saturday my self-care day after my breakup: a hike, followed by a long bath, and capped with a cheesy rom-com that I didn’t have to compromise on.
- Talk It Out (but Choose Wisely)
Sometimes you just need to vent or process everything with someone you trust. Whether it’s a friend who’s an amazing listener or a therapist who can offer guidance, don’t underestimate the power of talking. Therapy, in particular, can help you untangle those messy post-breakup emotions. Plus, no one’s judging you if you ramble about that one text they sent 47 days ago.
- Embrace New Adventures
Your world didn’t end when the relationship did—it just shifted. Get out of your comfort zone:
Go on a solo trip (even a weekend getaway counts).
Attend a workshop or event where you can meet new people.
Try dating again when you’re ready—not to replace anyone, but to remind yourself how fun connecting with new people can be.
- Create a “Breakup Glow-Up” Plan
Okay, this one sounds superficial, but hear me out: doing something that makes you feel amazing can work wonders. Maybe it’s getting a new haircut, revamping your wardrobe, or working on your fitness goals. Not because you need to “prove” anything to anyone—but because it’s empowering to invest in yourself.
- Time is Your Best Friend
Here’s the harsh but honest truth: there’s no shortcut. Time will dull the pain, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Heartbreak doesn’t come with an expiration date, but trust that every day you’re moving closer to healing, even if it’s only by millimeters.
- Focus on Gratitude
It sounds cheesy, but ending your day by listing a few things you’re grateful for can help shift your mindset. It might be as small as “I didn’t cry today!” or “My coffee was chef’s kiss amazing.” Gratitude is a muscle, and exercising it can give you a boost when things feel dark.
- Remember Who You Are
This one took me the longest to learn: you were whole before the relationship, and you’re still whole now. Heartbreak doesn’t mean you’ve lost your identity—it’s a chance to rediscover yourself and grow into an even stronger version of you. Cheesy? Sure. True? Absolutely.
Most importantly, be patient and kind to yourself. Healing isn’t linear, and that’s okay. One day, you’ll wake up and realize that the heartbreak isn’t the loudest voice in your head anymore. Until then, take it one step at a time—you’ve got this.
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